“The Real Housewives” Pitching Women Against Women for Sport

I like “The Real Housewives” franchise enough to confess once that I preferred it to scripted or fiction series, and it is not because the show is completely unscripted or without planned story lines. I was convinced that no one could pretend throughout an entire season of the show and that, at some point, some realness will slip through. I also did not allow myself dwell too much on the production machine behind the franchise; I ignored, what I considered as side talk, that even “reality” can be carefully curated. After all, whatever the viewer gets to see are bits that have been edited and allowed to become known.

Still, I wasn’t bothered about realness (or the lack thereof) until “The Real Housewives of Lagos,” RHOL, premiered in April 2022 on DStv Showcase channel 153 with the original cast: Iyabo Ojo, Toyin Lawani-Adebayo aka King of Fashion, Carolyna Hutchings, Laura Ikeji and Chioma Ikokwu aka Chioma Good Hair.

Although I do not know any of the women personally, I felt close to them, especially these women in the first season. At the very least, for most of them, I knew of their existence, and even followed their work and lifestyles pre-The Real Housewives. As such, it became difficult to only see them as reality TV characters or actors just out to entertain. It is one thing to watch and applaud Nene Leakes on “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” RHOA (2008-2020), read and enjoy Kandi Burruss’ (sex)escapades (2009-2023), and the gossip about the other women in RHOA. They are far away in America, so who cares?

However, watching the women of RHOL in season 1 and 2, came across to me as too much was contrived just for the sole purpose of putting a group of women together, who are friends (or friends of friends), simply to fight. These fights invariably moved on to social media and other online platforms: slut shaming, who was pimping whom, who broke whose marriage, or who slept with whose husband or boyfriend.

Laura Ikeji, married to Ogbonna Kanu (Nwankwo Kanu’s brother) and sister to billionaire blogger Linda Ikeji, got dragged mostly for her sister’s sins because of salacious reports on her blog about most of the women on the show. It was also unpleasantly surprising to find the (social media) bubbly Laura cast in a role as the petulant, stuck up, condescending extremely rich who did not really want to mix. She exuded the air of someone forced to mingle with her cast mates, even if they are friends of a friend.

The worst fallout or fight was between Toyin Lawani and Carolyna Hutchinson who really got into it on Twitter (now X).  You need to read the tweets for yourself. I do not have enough bandwidth to re-read them. Toyin left RHOL after season 2 as did Iyabo Ojo and Chioma Ikokwu.

The RHOL third season premiered on January 12, 2025, with Hutchings and Ikeji the only women from the first season. The third rodeo for RHOL has Dabota Lawson, Adeola Adeyemi, better known as Diiadem, and Mariam Timmer continuing from the second season. The newest housewife cast was Sophia Momodu, mother of Davido’s first child, Imade.

I did try extremely hard to watch this third season of RHOL, but I was not successful because I kept struggling with the idea that a little, inconsequential issue served as a catalyst for the high point of the whole show. This seeming high point was Dabota’s event at a beach resort, where Sophia’s room with a view was changed for a mosquito-infested one without a working air conditioner and a view.

This bit does not do the resort any good. I thought the whole point of a beach resort is to have magnificent views. Why would anyone leave their home to go staring at a fence in some remote and not fancy place? Anyway, that event was so stretched and dragged into their reunion with the ensuing shady shading. At this point, I had to ask me if “The Real Housewives of Lagos” is really helping women. If yes, how?

This question has become necessary at a time women are under fire in Nigeria. It is difficult enough fighting misogyny, and other self-fulfilling cliches that women are their own enemy: that women cannot come together to achieve concrete things, that they live vain lives sponsored by sugar daddies. Not one of these women of “The Real Housewives of Lagos” comes out smelling like roses as each cast member ends diminished after each season. Yes, there are levels and degrees to which different cast members diminish, IMHO.

I understand the need for drama and entertainment since no one wants to watch dull and boring content on TV, but is it impossible to create a show where the bickering and negative energy are not made intense?

I know I may be talking about my dream show yet to be created. In any case, if drama and entertainment is the real raison d’être of RHOL, are these ‘housewives’ women with the most drama in Lagos? How about they bring on someone like Bob Risky? Not a housewife? Whether as a full cast member or as a plus one, Bob Risky would give viewers more to watch.

The drama that Laura Ikeji brought, especially in the first season, was more because of her sister, Linda Ikeji who was too big and too much of a billionaire to be tempted to appear on the show. Imagine the shallowness of the biggest drama of the third season that ended recently was Davido’s baby mama’s boat or leased boat!

RHOL needs to work on being more entertaining without dehumanising or “de-womanising” the women on the show.