Debola ‘Santa’ Ogunshina, a Nigerian filmmaker and director, discusses how his personal experiences and observations shape the themes behind Boys Don’t Sing, his upcoming film that centers on the quiet struggles of two lonely men.
Ogunshina, in an exclusive interview with The Nollywood Reporter (TNR), says the film’s initial inspiration comes after watching The Kominsky Method, an American comedy-drama series that follows an aging acting coach. As he continues to develop the story, however, it shifts toward more personal questions he wants to answer.
“Turning 40 makes me think differently about aging, friendship, and time. You begin to notice how life quietly rearranges relationships. Friends relocate, people get busy with families and careers, and the circle slowly becomes smaller,” he says.
In the midst of these changes, the director notes that he becomes more concerned about what loneliness looks like for men who have spent most of their lives being strong for others. “What happens when they grow old? Who do they talk to? Who sits with them?” he asks.
Drawing from personal observation, he describes a familiar pattern in Nigerian families, especially as more people relocate abroad. Children are more likely to take their mothers along for care, while fathers are often left behind to face loneliness at home.
This assumption, he explains, is rooted in the idea that men will be fine because they have been conditioned to appear strong. “How does a man complain about being lonely? How does he sing about pain when he has been taught not to?”
“That friendship matters,” Ogunshina emphasizes as the central message of Boys Don’t Sing. He reiterates that while the film explores loneliness, aging, migration, and mortality, its core is companionship. “Boys Don’t Sing is about two men who continue to show up for each other in a world that has gradually become quieter around them. We often talk about romantic love and family love, but friendship can be just as profound,” he says.
He adds that although the film leans into men’s loneliness and how migration contributes to it, it does not seek to blame those who leave in search of better opportunities. Instead, it raises questions about the emotional cost that remains behind.
Beyond migration, Ogunshina also points to technology as a contributing factor to loneliness and emotional detachment. While communication has become easier, he believes it does not necessarily deepen connection. “That tension is a factor in making the film. Sometimes loneliness exists even when everybody is reachable,” he explains.
As a film that focuses on two elderly men confronting loneliness, the director notes that Nollywood does not tell enough stories about older characters. He observes that they are often portrayed in relation to younger people, either as parents, grandparents, or clerics. “It’s the same with stories where children are leads. Elderly characters and children do not have many stories written for them in Nollywood,” he says.
Ogunshina hopes Boys Don’t Sing encourages audiences to think about presence, not just love. He maintains that many families already have love, but not presence. For him, presence requires intention, while love alone does not automatically create it. Relationships, he adds, still need time, attention, and effort to truly thrive.
